I found Gundren! Caught him sleeping on the job but a bit of Dwarven brandy perked him right up. I’m getting ahead of myself…

We snuck into Cragmore Castle, the place is a right state (Not our doing, either. Mostly). The sentries posted had no pride in their job, didn’t look up from their card games and squabbling. Goblin work-ethic shining through once again. To be fair though, someone must have had some brains rattling in their helmet; Star spotted a tripwire that looked like it could’ve given someone a nasty surprise but Bree’s less-than-glorious past meant she made short work of it.

Before I go on, I’ll admit to something; I’m not the lightest on my feet. I’m a bloody dwarf in company-issued chain mail – I clank. Now if someone says to me ‘Gus, there’s a damned tentacly beastie sleeping in the next room’ I am staying out of it until someone gives me the go-ahead. Sir did not get the memo.
Still, no permanent harm done.

Now Bree, on the other hand, that one is light as a stirge and twice as sneaky. She managed to sneak into a hobgoblin barrack, steal their gear and lock the door on the way out, all without waking them. I almost gave the jig away, I wanted to laugh so much! I’m sure they’ll ken how to get out. Eventually.

I did feel sorry for some of the goblins though. I know, I know, hear me out. We cracked a door open and there was a gang of them in the dining hall. I was all for going in there, blade singing, but Lycinda stopped me and bade me watch. There was some fat, feculent shite of a goblin in a dirty apron, beating the snot out of another emaciated goblin and smiling. The others looked like they’d seen the wrong end of a fist as well; wretched, they were. Bree, Lycinda and Star concocted a plan – Bree was going to ride on Snaggle (there was a sight, almost regal if pint-sized) and get the drop on that fat sack of shite, Lycinda would do some wizardy on the candles whilst Star would burst in first with a grand entrance. Worked like a charm; that bully dropped like a sack of spuds, all the candles flared, and Star stood at the top of the stairs and strongly advised the goblins to fuck off. Brought a tear to me eye, it was beautiful to watch. Every last one of them turned tail and buggered off, even the guards.

Our luck didn’t last though; we pissed off some big critter (Lycinda says it’s an Owlbear) that managed to batter down a wall in an effort to reach us. We took it down but it made a mess of a few of us on its way. There’s some odd creatures this far from the city and every single one of them seems intent on eating us.

Even after all this commotion the good King Grol and some Drow wench were having a stand-up argument when we got to them. Tough buggers gave a pretty good account of themselves when they noticed us though – a broken nose, cracked ribs and a knee that was more outside than in were their parting gifts. Nothing a good rest and some divine attendance can’t right.

During all this fuss, I found Cousin Gundren. Bit worse for wear but he’s alive and kicking (I thought the boot to the ‘nads of that ‘king’ was a little harsh) and we have the map to the Wave Echo Caves. The thought of a bit of prospecting has certainly lifted my cousin’s spirits, mine too!